Oh My Golden Bengal

Oh Bengal
Its not gold its battery acid
The people they killed tonight are cringing in their graves
Just like Iqbals generation must feel about pakland

Forever your lies seem to extend,
Your massacre last May set our hearts in harmony
A chorus of Shariatian whistles.
We woke up.

In spring, Oh sweet child of mine,
The fragrance from your donor developmented dungheaps
Acts like a perpetual aromatic facepalm,
Ah, somebody pass us the buckets!
In autumn, Oh fabled construct of Calcutta
In the genetically modified paddy fields
I have seen sweet subaltern smiles spread over your poverty pornographs.

Oh children of Hawa,  what about the day when there will be no shade but our deeds?
What a sight all this flag worship and cheap jatra?
What a guilt have you miscast
At the feet of the innocent?
And you sing about your fucking rivers!
Like muppets on a string.

Oh fake feminist representatives of shaytanarchy, words from your lips
Are like black magic to the masses.
Ah, take some more pills!
It wont be long
Multitudes may join your stupid, uninspiring song
Nevertheless soon you will be gone.


[New Word] White Highlighting

A photochemical treatment to bring your colour down to a strict vanilla for the nation's viewing pleasure and ease. The costs for this pretty radical procedure have been brought down in recent decades by a skilful interplay of government policy, narcissism and spinelessness which has encouraged patients to apply bleach before even walking into the studio.


The Comedy Genius of Abu Eesa

On the 8th of March 2014, 
A teacher tweeted nine times.
They were funny.
Not quite Anchorman, 
but funny.

As promised in Tweet 1
it was a Big Moment for 
A snorus of Whiteous Indignation.
A satire of Sultana's Nightmare,
called "When Ummah 2.0 went #PussyRiot"
except there was little punk
but deodorized transatlantic discourse.
And statesticles of collective shame.

Some started a hashtag against the man,
to fire him from his job.
This tool is called Character Hersassination,
Others wrote lengthy treatments on the nuances of feminism
and lumped the teacher with blame for all sorts of ghastly stuff.
The institutional tack
of the attack
felt sectarian.
Fajr, Zur, Asr, Magrib, Isha.

Today is my favourite bakwas day of the year: Int'l Women's Day.

Be warned feminists. Prepare to earn your big moment.


In honour of International Women's Day, today's updates will be generated by my highly developed feminine side.


Yes, Int'l Women's Day has officially started. Or as it's more widely known, "Men not giving a monkeys that it's Int'l Women's Day."


"So today is International Women's Day. It was actually meant to be yesterday but they took too long getting ready."


Int'l Women's Day is great, but starting tomorrow, it's 364 International Men's Days again, so stick that in your oven and cook it.

Anyway I don't care how much you hate it or think amazing International Women's Day is, y'all still can't drive.

Ay na'm.


The sole objective of Int'l Women's Day is to see whether we, as men, can avoid being sexist for at least a day.

Women, nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

So that's a wrap guys - don't try to understand cos' it's like trying to understand women. Not worth it. =)



[New Word] Character Hersassination

A tactic of our times, of perhaps some benefit and not exclusively feminist, to gun somebody on a peripheral utterance, a joke, a clearly political character assassination, or character defence in order to make discursive space for your politics, which trumps everything else, because of course, its yours.


Bengali Mental Shutters

The overweight mole operates
In dim ambient national conditions.

She holds the burrow map
her uncle left behind from the war
With an iron grip
Just in case she looses sight
Of the familiar dead ends
In which she likes to party.
And play badminton.

Images of the first rays
of the rising sun
Are painted over an old exit in her cave.
A tribute to Hendrix, And When We Was Fab.

Nostalgia for a a Golden Age
That never was. Hers.

"Its not her fault"
Said Advocate Hingshar Malik.
"Its patriarchy, not false herstory".

Bipolar bindihood,  with
Octahedral ovaries
The geometry of the gigolo
Collapses in on itself.
As liberation mortgaged white power
Is found to empower
the gravitational attraction
that ensures this revolution

This actual black hole of calcutta.
(Not the one whitey made up)
Configures those bengali mental shutters.

On the bookshelf, to the web.
To the person in your bed.
But it is you that covered up the dead.


[New Word] Flatterati

Usually socially present, but exaggeratedly so these days on social media, the flatterati are an essential part of delusion, confusion and misdirection.