31.5.09

New Word - Salafree

To describe spaces of live possibilities, where the future is conceived.

Examples include: 
'This event/family/organisation is Salafree.'
'This book was conceived and written in a Salafree environment.'
and of course,
'This show was filmed in front of a live Salafree audience.'

30.5.09

Khatibs from another dimension

This blog is dedicated to all the crap khatibs out there in the Ummah, this one's for you, in a vain hope that you annihilate yourselves, or at least take a step off the minbar and find a good track of learning. 

I am able to discern exactly how crap you are and spot your socially spasticating impacts because I have tasted and imagined the other end of the spectrum. Many  havent, and you are retarding our advancement. Allah probably created you, as he created mosquitoes, HT, Israel and smelly people, as anti-examples, to give the truly awesome some context and struggle.

The millet should create new spaces and minbars with its intellect, dosh and will. Decision-making cabals should imagine what the future looks like and parents should invest in elocution lessons.

Also, stupid stupid professionals should create their own Jumma khanas in the city and not hog those of other communities, they are retarding.

so hear we go,

You are such a crappy khatib,
I want to eat my face,
Every time i must endure you,
Have you not heard of grace?

I'm not an alcopaki,
From the jamat aloof,
I know you'll feel the same some day,
and believe I have much proof.

Infantalising smug faced bums,
Aren't for the minbar destined,
There are qualities of mind and soul,
Beyond the large intestine.

But, I cant interrupt your khutba,
That's sunnaticly proscribed,
but Slap'n'Hug and Bitch'n'Scrub,
you will definitely find.

27.5.09

Gendered Genius

This is an excerpt from Sultana's Dream, a short story written by Begum Rokeya Sakhawat Hossain in 1905. It is about an imagined science policy in Ladyland, where begums (the mothers of warriors) called the shots. 


"We talked on various subjects, and I learned that they were not subject to any kind of epidemic disease, nor did they suffer from mosquito bites as we do. I was very much astonished to hear that in Ladyland no one died in youth except by rare accident.

'Will you care to see our kitchen?' she asked me.

'With pleasure,' said I, and we went to see it. Of course the men had been asked to clear off when I was going there. The kitchen was situated in a beautiful vegetable garden. Every creeper, every tomato plant was itself an ornament. I found no smoke, nor any chimney either in the kitchen -- it was clean and bright; the windows were decorated with flower gardens. There was no sign of coal or fire.

'How do you cook?' I asked.

'With solar heat,' she said, at the same time showing me the pipe, through which passed the concentrated sunlight and heat. And she cooked something then and there to show me the process.

'How did you manage to gather and store up the sun-heat?' I asked her in amazement.

'Let me tell you a little of our past history then. Thirty years ago, when our present Queen was thirteen years old, she inherited the throne. She was Queen in name only, the Prime Minister really ruling the country.

'Our good Queen liked science very much. She circulated an order that all the women in her country should be educated. Accordingly a number of girls' schools were founded and supported by the government. Education was spread far and wide among women. And early marriage also was stopped. No woman was to be allowed to marry before she was twenty-one. I must tell you that, before this change we had been kept in strict purdah.'

'How the tables are turned,' I interposed with a laugh.

'But the seclusion is the same,' she said. 'In a few years we had separate universities, where no men were admitted.'

'In the capital, where our Queen lives, there are two universities. One of these invented a wonderful balloon, to which they attached a number of pipes. By means of this captive balloon which they managed to keep afloat above the cloud-land, they could draw as much water from the atmosphere as they pleased. As the water was incessantly being drawn by the university people no cloud gathered and the ingenious Lady Principal stopped rain and storms thereby.'

'Really! Now I understand why there is no mud here!' said I. But I could not understand how it was possible to accumulate water in the pipes. She explained to me how it was done, but I was unable to understand her, as my scientific knowledge was very limited. However, she went on, 'When the other university came to know of this, they became exceedingly jealous and tried to do something more extraordinary still. They invented an instrument by which they could collect as much sun-heat as they wanted. And they kept the heat stored up to be distributed among others as required.

'While the women were engaged in scientific research, the men of this country were busy increasing their military power. When they came to know that the female universities were able to draw water from the atmosphere and collect heat from the sun, they only laughed at the members of the universities and called the whole thing "a sentimental nightmare"!' "

21.5.09

June 4th Election Patronisations

Another round of local and euro elections are upon us and the infanticidal political logic bleeding into the citizen's decision-making space suggests one should vote for a major party to minimise the effect of the BNP.

Apparently this logic becomes stronger because of the 'expenses scandal' that is 'rocking' the public's 'faith' in parliament.

Technocratic logic's of 'But the LibDems aren't strong' or 'The Greens aren't practical' abound and politics in the UK is thus rendered self-stagnating. Nope and we wont have proportional representation in the national majlis either.

Its politics you muppets, you create possibilities with your imagination and social action, you shift power alignments and you oxygenate worthy political organisations.

We the society make a collective decision, and for our active health need the best answers and make sense of the uncensored composite mess. We need to know this to understand who we are in a polychromic snapshot, black and white line art is insufficient.

Dont worry, big business will find a way of fighting it's corner. They do not need you.

So here's the game plan for next year. Engineer a hung parliament and a sequence of events that puts Vince Cable in charge.

Hmmm.

19.5.09

On the politics of public virtue: MPs expenses Edition.

What kind of game is this strategic self-censure
of supine politicians, irrespective of gender?
Who've raped and destroyed a good couple of nations,
yet only reform for political pensions.

Do I give a damn for your petty scam?
Democratic virtue? I'd quite like to hurt you,
for making the world such a dangerous place
and having the gall to pronounce on disgrace.

You ignorant house packed with extremist touts,
Mother of hypocrisy and colonial legacy,
I'd like to see your obituary.
Good luck to the SNP, please liberate me.

16.5.09

they are wiping Palestine off the map : terrorism through tourism

I saw adverts for israel today on the underground. Adverts that erase Palestine from view. Strange how such cartographicide could be allowed. 

It's interesting to notice the symbols that the tourist agency play on to attract punters to that terrible occupation state. Not the fresh red blood of Gazans on the streets, or the tragi-comical eurovision peace songs. What kind of tourist....

israel has the largest arsehole footprint on the face of the Earth. It could quite easily have been avoided. Don't you wonder how different the world would be if the brits had not given in to zionist terrorism and abandoned the palestinians in 1948?

Shame on London Underground, shame on CBS Outdoors and of course the Advertising Standards Agency. The Palestine Solidarity Campaign have some actions you can do.

Travelers with a sense of justice are strongly urged to take creative measures to protect punters from being misled.

12.5.09

symbolic warfare : razakarology 101

I hear that awami thugs are marauding dhaka and hassling people by creating property disputes and threatening 'Collaborator' Blackmail. ('We have your name on a 'list', if you dont give us X we will destroy your public honour with a Rajakar accusation.')

This technique of acquisition thus permits the 'pure' patriotic awami leaguer to dislodge any person judged not to mime his liberation mythology from their business, institution or home through sheer symbolic violence.

I must point the finger of complicity at those in possession of discernment who are involved in the active and passive upkeep and non-contestation of that simplistic, circular and homogeneous narrative of virtue upon which this drunken awaminess rests.

Interestingly, and perhaps democratically, but most definately moronarchically, the symbolic capitalists in the business of petty occupation have their analogues in the national political sphere. They are now filing cases of secularist takfir.

Holy Cow, the Nation State.

9.5.09

white flight from rascism conference

Funny how it was only white countries that made a fuss at the pre-diluted UN Anti Rascism conference last month. They walked out and the white power serving media showed its colours. What kinds of idiots to they take the majority world for?